2010 What Else Do I Need For Motivation? ;)

I'm not in the holiday spirit......
That's nothing new. I hate the holidays. I am usually by myself, my family is boring or most of them work. I have no kids, nieces, or nephews. I barely know my little cousins & my god son is miles away & I don't know him either. So the easiest ppl to shop for (little kids) I don't have in my life.

My boyfriend (I guess I'll keep calling him that just because when dudes try to talk to me I tell them I have a boyfriend whether I have one or not) & I never really spent a holiday together.... (I know what kind of relationship is that o_0 ??) sooo even if everything was good between us spending time with him probably wouldn't have happened anyway. I didn't lose anything. I don't really have any friends. I have one but I doubt I'll go over to her house... for what?? That's not my family.

On top of the loneliness I waited to late to shop & the 2 jobs is keeping me occupied for the next 2 weeks. I don't know what I am buying anyway..... my family isn't really into it so I guess its no big deal if there is something for them on Christmas. I have a freaking $100 ticket I have to pay by the 24th & my phone bill is due. So Yeah Im freaking out & anxious & depressed & alone... Merry Christmas to me.

I wanna do something for New Years tho! I've never went out on New Years before & I am 24! I wanna get dressed up & go out & have fun! I wanna bring in the New Year Happy, Stress-Free, & with a New feeling. 2010 will not be like the past years! I want nothing but accomplished goals & joy in 2010. Im tired of talking about he's this & that && He did this & that. Im tired of talking about I have no friends. Im tired of not living up to MY potential!! Its nobodies fault but my own. If he aint got it right by now scratch him off, & if she aint keeping up with Denise Lancaster leave her, && if I am not happy with where I am & what I have.... I need to UPGRADE me!

What else do I need for motivation?? ;) --

@sincerelydla